Formas en que los hombres de tecnología son involuntariamente sexistas
Un amigo publicó esto en twitter:
Realmente respeto
I really respect the amount of self-awareness it takes to ask that
question! It’s easy to disavow the trolls sending rape and death
threats, but it takes much more courage to acknowledge that you might be
perpetuating harmful attitudes in less-obvious ways.
[Author's Note: I felt like it was important to establish some context,
but you can also skip the 101-level discussion and jump right to the
list.]
This question hints at two important concepts: implicit biases and
microaggressions.
We have all internalized harmful stereotypes about women — it’s part of
growing up in a culture that inculcates gender roles from a very early
age. Our culture has deeply-embedded patriarchal power structures (ditto
racist and classist and ableist and transphobic and homophobic and so
on…) that we all absorb and have to intentionally question and
deprogram. We all, regardless of our background or our conscious
beliefs, have implicit
biasesthat affect the way
we see the world.
Groups that are dominated by one sort of person tend to develop ways of
talking and thinking that implicitly center the identities and
experiences of that one sort of person, which becomes a
self-perpetuating cycle, because it communicates to outsiders that they
are different (at best; unwelcome interlopers or second-class citizens,
at worst). It can introduce, or exacerbate, the further self-fulfilling
prophecies of impostor
syndrome
and stereotype
threat. It can put
pressure on people to conform to a certain
type
in order to succeed.
This context is the heart of why inclusive language matters, why a
seemingly-harmless joke isn’t that
harmless,
and why small things seem to sometimes get blown out of proportion.
Which brings us
to microaggressions:
“social exchanges in which a member of a dominant culture says or does
something, often accidentally, and without intended malice, that
belittles and alienates a member of a marginalized group.”
These are little things. Things that many people do without thinking
about them and certainly without intending anything by them. Things that
individually are meaningless, but in aggregate set the tone of an entire
community.
Little things reinforce stereotypes and implicit biases instead of
challenging them. They insulate members of the dominant group from
having to confront their own biases. They communicate underlying
attitudes and community norms. Language may or may not shape the way we
think, but it is a powerful signal about what sort of behavior is and is
not acceptable, and what your personal expectations are.
Worse, those little things can subtly reinforce the attitudes of actual
abusers and signal that they are welcome in our community. (Example:
rape jokes are seen as tacit nods of approval by actual
rapists.)
Communication is tricky even on the best of days; the best defense
against misunderstandings is to develop a finely-tuned sense of empathy,
and try to notice as much as possible what we’re doing that might create
distance from someone else and keep us from questioning our own
assumptions about the world.
Sometimes it’s hard to see these things without getting defensive, or
going too far down the road of guilt and excessive self-flagellation. I
think it’s important to realize that every single one of us makes this
kind of mistake, no one is immune. The determination of character, in my
opinion, isn’t whether you slip up, but what you do about it afterward.
If you care about others, nothing feels worse than realizing you
accidentally stepped on someone else’s
foot. I
really think it’s a natural reaction to bristle a bit, to try to
minimize it, to protect ourselves from feeling bad. Once I recognized
that defensiveness as a natural part of the process, it was much easier
for me to realize I was doing it, then apologize and move on instead of
digging myself deeper. It takes practice.
The good news, though, is that little things are easy to change.
Personally I believe that if you can change the outward tone of a
culture, you stand a good chance of changing the actual beliefs and
attitudes of that culture.
Caveats: not everyone notices or cares about every single thing on this
list, and I’ve probably missed some that my own privilege blinds me to.
This is a list specifically focused on sexist microaggressions; while
some of the things on this list might also apply to, for instance,
transfolk or non-binary folks or people of color, I can’t claim to speak
for anyone other than myself.
The post is written as “things men do”, because that’s the question
that was asked, but of course anyone can (and does) perpetuate harmful
stereotypes.
Finally, this list is written for those who, like me, try to err on the
side of being maximally-inclusive. Many of these things are common in
our culture, and while I try to model good behavior, I don’t correct
others’ usage unless they ask. I consider this an application of the
robustness
principle.
So, without further ado.
1. Using “guys” to mean “people”.
I fear I’m earning a bit of a reputation for this one among my
colleagues, as I sometimes good-naturedly respond to “Hey guys,
[question]?” with “I’m not a guy, but [answer]”. Yes, most people intend
this in a gender-neutral way; no, it is not actually
gender-neutral.
If you think about it, “guys” is only gender-neutral in a situation
where maleness is the assumed
default.
Many women don’t notice or mind this, but to some in our male-dominated
field it can be a tiny, pointed
reminder
of the extra work they have to do just to fit in, be seen, be taken
seriously.
Personally, it can also make me wonder if I’m being seen at all; I often
read a message to a mailing list, or in a chat room, that begins “hey
guys” and wonder whether the speaker realizes that not everyone on the
list is a man. Worse, I worry it sends the wrong message to other women
who might observe the exchange. For instance, if a woman was thinking of
getting involved in WordPress development, could all the “guys” messages
on the wp-hackers list make her think there aren’t any women in that
community?
Don’t do the “guys and girls” thing either, which is marginally better
but still makes it feel like an afterthought. Try: “folks”, “y’all”,
“everyone”, “team”, “channel”, or just “awesome people”. :) If my own
experience is any indication, it’ll sound weird for a month or two and
then become normal.
Relatedly, avoid assuming male users in your
documentation.
Just stop worrying and embrace the singular
“they”.
2. Similarly: “girls” for “women”.
Yes, I know it’s the best we have as an informal analogue to “guys”, but
it infantilizes
women
and sounds patronizing. It might subconsciously encourage us to take
women less seriously. In general, “girl” should be used to refer to
female children only. Like “guys”, this will sound weird for about a
month and will then become normal.
Some folks are reclaiming “lady” for informal usage, but I’ve found that
can be a bit loaded (personally, I don’t think of myself as a lady; when
I was a child, my grandfather would reprimand me for wearing jeans or
climbing trees, because those things were “unladylike”). YMMV, but for
people you don’t know well, I would stick to “women”.
3. “Mom” as an example of a non-technical user.
I know: your mom, like a lot of people, may not be very good with
computers. (My mom, on the other hand, while she doesn’t really give
herself credit for it, is quite good at figuring computer stuff out. She
programmed with punchcards in college and can do things with Excel that
I have no idea how to do. It’s my dad who always needs computer help.)
This tired old trope erases the vast number of computer-literate women
who happen to be mothers, as well as encouraging condescension. Again,
the context here is a society and a professional field where women
already struggle to be taken seriously; no need to pile on.
This trope has its own article on the Geek Feminism
Wiki,
which suggests alternatives: “When the purpose of the statement is to
convey the idea that something is “really simple”, ideal nouns will
refer to non-human or purely technical categories, such as cat,
non-technical user, Ubuntu user, or “newbie.””
4. Using avatars that are male by default.
If the default (or unset) avatar on your site reads as male, you’re
making an implicit statement that your “normal” user is male and anyone
else is an exception. Personally, I think using a non-gendered (even
non-human) avatar
can really showcase an app’s creativity.
5. Describing software or algorithms as “sexy”, “hot”, etc.
By sexualizing something that does not need to be sexualized, you’re
creating a college-frat-boy type environment, as well as
implicitly conflating quality with sexual attractiveness. If I work with
you, I want to know that you’re enough of an adult to be able to
appreciate something (or someone) without wanting to fornicate with it.
Anyhow, it’s vague. What is so great about it? Is it really efficient,
does it solve a problem in a new way, does it scale really well, does it
have a great UI?
Related: Referring to hardware (or cars, or whatever) by female names or
pronouns. Yeah, okay, grand naval tradition and all that, but it’s still
kind of weird. Can you not tell the difference between women and
objects?
6. Assuming women they meet are in non-technical roles.
If you meet a woman in a professional setting, like a conference (or the
afterparty!), your first assumption should be that she’s there because
she’s interested in the material. This seems obvious, but most women
have had the unfortunate experience of being assumed to be “the
marketing chick” or there with a boyfriend.
Under no circumstances should you ask a woman to prove her technical
knowledge to you (even in jest).
Additionally, there’s a lot of implicit misogyny when you feign surprise
upon discovering that a conventionally-attractive or feminine-presenting
woman is also a geek. If you tell a woman approvingly that she’s “one of
the guys” or “not like other women”, well, I’m gonna go out on a limb
and say you’ve got some assumptions you need to rethink. (And I’m saying
that as a woman who was proud to be called both of those things at one
point.)
So, don’t say something like “Wow, I would never guessed you were a
nerd!” Technical women often have to walk a fine
line
between looking properly “nerdy” (at the risk of coming across
as sloppy) and looking put-together (but risking being taken less
seriously).
7. Fetishizing “hot geek girls”.
It’s not a compliment to get comments like “Wow, a beautiful woman who’s
also into kernel hacking?? Will you marry me?”
Rule of thumb: Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a man! It’s
disrespectful to focus on someone’s appearance instead of their
accomplishments.
The “fake marriage proposal” is extra weird because it’s grounded in a
measure of success predicated on one’s desirability as a sexual or
romantic partner. Women are people in their own right and have value
independent of their relationships to men. A radical idea, I know.
An unsolicited “I find you attractive!” remark isn’t a compliment, it’s
a note from a
boner. I
think it’s pretty safe to say that the vast majority of women in
technical careers didn’t get into them in order to serve as eye candy or
find a date.
We don’t want to be singled out and given extra attention
because “ooooh, a woman!”. Yes, being a woman in tech has its unique
challenges, but no one wants to feel like they’re only getting attention
because of their gender. We want to be treated normally, like human
beings who happen to share some perfectly ordinary and normal interests
with you.
8. Denigrating things by comparing them to women or femininity.
Don’t casually accuse someone of being “girly” or a “pussy”, or say that
they “fight like a girl”, or make fun of them for liking “chick flicks”.
Stop policing masculinity with comments about men who cross the line
into “too feminine”.
Be on guard for unnecessarily-gendered terms
(hysterical,
shrill, “man up”, “grow a pair”, ballsy). Notice how those examples are
all predicated on the assumption that acting like a man is inherently
good, and acting like a woman is inherently bad?
Those are some of the most overt ones, but this kind of thing is weirdly
common. I recently called out a cyclist friend for referring to the
lowest gear as the “granny
gear”.
10. Using dark UI patterns.
If you write software that enables harassment and
stalking,
or makes it difficult for users to protect their personal information,
you’re disproportionately driving women off of your platform or making
them do extra work. Respecting user’s privacy and emphasizing consent in
software design is fundamentally an issue of equality — not just gender,
but across the board.
Watch out for requirements, such as “real name” policies, that unfairly
impact marginalized
groups.
Commit to writing software that embodies affirmative
consent.
11. Repeating generalizations about gender essentialism.
“Women just aren’t interested in programming/math/logic.” This is a
thing that people really think, and say out
loud.
Statistically, the variation between individuals dwarfs any biological
differences,
and perpetuating these stereotypes has a real, harmful
effect.
Even complimentary stereotypes, like “women are better at communicating”
or “women have a better eye for design” contribute to the problem
by encouraging a “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” approach to
gender. This is also known as benevolent
sexism.
Similarly, don’t reduce the gender gap in tech to a problem of “getting
more women into the pipeline”. The reality is that women leave the
industry at every stage of their careers. Solving the pipeline problem
is necessary, but not a magic
bullet.
On the flip side, don’t excuse bad behavior with “boys will be
boys”
type excuses. Dismantling gender stereotypes is also about having more
respect for men — believing they are just as capable of empathy and
self-restraint
as any other adult human being.
12. Assuming every woman in tech feels the same way and/or wants to discuss her experiences “as a woman in tech”.
We’re not a monolith, we can’t all speak for each other, and we often
want to just talk about our work instead of being seen as women first.
See the Ada Initiative’s great post, Breaking The Unicorn
Law.
13. Staying quiet when other men do these things.
Finally: this is everybody’s
work.
It’s not just the responsibility of those affected to speak up — we all
play a part in setting the standards for the communities we’re a part
of. Leigh Honeywell has a great
post about how each of
us can help, in the infosec world or anywhere else:
We aren’t doomed to being the harassment and sexual assault capital
of the tech world. We can make a difference. And it starts with each
one of us standing up for what we think is right, in the moment when
it happens.
The concept of “privilege” seems to often come across as an insult, but
I think it’s also a statement that you have power in a particular
situation, and it’s possible to use that power for good. Those with more
privilege have the power to amplify the voices of others, to challenge
the status quo without fearing the consequences of speaking up.
Anyhow, that’s what I’ve got. These things serve as a starting point, an
MVP, if you will. It’s certainly possible to do more, if you’re willing
to devote the time and energy, but these suggestions are the
“low-hanging fruit”: small, simple changes that will build the
foundation for a better tech culture.
Other great posts along these lines:
Thoughts? Please comment or
tweet at me! You can also
check out my saved links on
Pinboard (basically a firehose of
everything I read online).
